My Half Marathon

I can finally say. Been there done that. That's because I ran the 21.01 kms, the Hyderabad Half Marathon on 22nd November 2009. It was a long uphill journey all the way.

It all started with the cycling conditioning camp on campus. I ran a couple of 5 km runs and cried and cribbed out of pain for a week. I felt ashamed as a lot of other guys had timed better than me and I was finally kicked out. It was a wakeup call for my tobacco stained lungs.

My chull to be never left behind motivated me to get my act together. I began running with the uber cool bihari and bangaali- sam and soham. We cut down on the sticks and made a pact . All of us cheated our rule, sometimes together sometimes in secrecy. Nights like these were more common than ever before. After all those were our last months together.

We struggled through the next 2 months with our routine evening runs. The idea of looking like Brad Pitt on the convocation day motivated us as well.

By the time I left Kanpur we could run 6 kms like a breeze. It seems like such a small milestone in hindsight but believe me it wasn't. With all the shit we did in the four years 6 kms was more like 60.

At home a month later, I was jobless in the true sense of the word. Out of boredom I started running again. Upon finding the cool group of people at Hyderabad Runners and running with them I decided that I was going to do the next marathon.

I got up at 5 in the morning and went for 10 km runs. It was boring as I'd run alone and the people on the roads would stare at me like I was from another planet. The group usually ran on weekends and I could never get up because of the late night hangouts. With just my ipod, running was a boring task (just like this post) and I just managed to do it about 4 times.

So all in all I had made a complete mess of my training schedule which ideally should have looked like this. I did not do even 5% of this.

The maximum I ran upto the marathon week was 11 kms. But I told myself and that come what may I am going to run and I am going to finish the marathon.

I told my co runners and other friends in Hyd who knew about my running habit that I was going to run the marathon. I did this just to build pressure on myself so that I would not back out. I was leaving for US on the 25th and really wanted to do this one thing before leaving.

I'd also promised myself to cut on the sticks till I ran through and then get back to old ways. Fortunately I haven't done that. So all these wonderfully stupid things served as the motivation and finally I put myself through the inhuman experience of running on this course:

The worst part of the run was that I was running all alone throughout which cut down my pace and the best part was going around the beautiful charminar at the half way mark:

At the end of it all:

Take that bitches:

It was one of the biggest achievements of my life. It was eventful all the way and left me with huge blisters on my little fingers. But it was all worth it.

Next stop: the Half Iron Man

I me myself

Ruffled hair with few grey streaks

Unshaven beard and a night dress

An unkempt appearance

Off the sticks for a couple of months

Bored.... 3 mins of smoky bliss

Yet another failed attempt

Two movies a day

Reading novels and working out

to fill the gaps in the day

An enviable routine. Not

Friday nights spell Floyd and Led Zep

The glass smells Kingfisher/Smirnoff

A painful reminiscence of IITK

Visa authorities are condescending

Oil barons have their heads in their ass

Leaves me unemployed

Caught unaware in a web

Rebuked by the lord

Rejected by employers

But...Remembered by friends

Await the dawn

Of a fresh start

Of a bright yet calm sun

Of a new job

But I refuse to give up

I am the second of the mice

That fell into the cream

Sensationalist journalism

The Indian news channels' idea of good journalism seems to be getting blurred by the day. I have been constantly observing the decline of their standards, in particular the award winning 9 O' clock news on the most watched English news channel, CNN IBN. The show is hosted by award winning news reader Rajdeep Sardesai.

The nature of news items that are covered and the quality of their reporting has been dwindling over the past few years. They seem to be on road to becoming the Aaj Tak of English news. In particular, the top story on this show often covers stories which according to me deserve no space on national news. I have been particularly disturbed by the one telecast today: Killer IIT student

I am very disturbed to see such a news item being telecast as the top story on the most watched English news program in the country. And the accused's IIT student status being exploited for sensationalism is equally disturbing. It is obvious that the news channel is stooping to such levels as it is helping its TRPs but what is disturbing is the fact this is actually working for them.

The top story of the day has come to mean the story which will get maximum viewership and not the one which has maximum relevance to the nation.

The people running the channel should be blamed for not doing their duties as a responsible media house but even they can be only accused morally. It is indeed a sorry state for the entire country where Aaj Tak with its 24x7 bullshit is the most watched Hindi channel and now even the english channels are following suit.

I am unable to comprehend why anybody would want to spend 15 mins watching a story of how a spurned love begrudgingly killed a girl. The channel does its best to sensationalise it using the IIT angle and then interviews the mother of the victim, humiliating her by asking questions which were both stupid and racist.

I remember a speech by President Kalam where he mentioned how the newspapers in Israel have inspiring stories on their front page and not just a list of bomb blasts. And on the other hand our newspapers are full of blasts and accidents, rapes and murders. Do we read the paper or watch the news to know how many people died where, how and why? Of course I pray that all the criminals/terrorists be punished but I take no particular interest in knowing the gory details.

For a large number of people reading the papers is the first chore of the day and watching the news is the first thing after work. Thus what they read in the papers influences their first thoughts and feelings of the day and develops a sense of frustration/negativity which continues throughout the day. Same is the case with the 9 O' clock news. I wish for the day when reading the newspaper is a happy experience and leaves me charged up rather than bogged down with images of all the bombings and killings around the world. I'm not saying that I want to close myself to all that is happening around me and live in a utopia unto myself. I want to know about the atrocities but I also want to know about the good stuff happening. Where on the one hand there are terrorists and criminals creating havoc, I am sure there are more people doing good and inspiring work. The media should maintain a balance in what they present and make constructive use of their power of influencing the mindsets of people.

Is the Govt becoming a puppet

The union budget delivered by our babu moshai Pranab da has created quite a flutter in the past week. The budget had a lot to ooomph for the aam aadmi like sops to farmers on power, seeds and fertilizers, increase in NREGA pay and the unvelievable 2 rs a kg rice. But inspite of eliminating the FBT, huge increase in infrastructure spending, a few minor changes in the tax structure and the larger idea of increasing the purchasing power of the people, it failed to appease the industrywallahs and their impulsive disapproval was evident in the ensuing market crash.
One major reason which came to light was the fact that the minister did not visibly ride on the disinvestment wagon, something promised in the 100 day agenda read by the president. This triggered heated debates on news channels with the oppostition calling the budget a complete failure and the govt a bunch of cheats. Although the FM later clarified on various forums that the budget speech was just a introduction of what was to follow during the year and that the govt was committed to controlled disinvestment, it was of no avail.
Disinvestment was cited as the only option to reduce the fiscal deficit of the nation. Though it is important, I believe strengthening the economy and exports as such can also help our cause.

Following the release of the entire budget document, which mentioned the govt planned to reduce deficit by 1 and 1.5% in the next couple of yearsthrough disinvestment, there were charges as to why this was not mentioned in the speech. The belief was that its mention could have boosted the markets.
In the subsequent days the markets behaved indecisively. Finally today, the FM was forced to lay out a plan of placing several PSUs under the hammer very soon and this saw the markets rally by 450 points.
The larger issue here is: are the govt policies being governed by bullies like the FIIs and the CII. Is the govt a puppet in their hands. Over the past year's recession we have seen that they do bear a significant clout on Dalal Street and with the day to day swings of the sensex being seen as the sole barometer of the economy, is the govt being forced to bow down to their wishes. The FIIs seem to be bullying the govt with their landslide sellling and huge buying which follows declarations propitious and adverse to their interests respectively.
Disinvestment is no doubt a huge boom. But should it be forced upon us in this manner. Should the govt be coerced into selling stake in even the most profitable of PSUs to foreign companies? We are hearing of stake being sold in NTPC and some others whose have values of 25K per share. I hope the domestic drivers of the economy and the markets take notice and make themselves a little more inert to pecuniary intersts of the foreign lands.

Vagaries of a confused nation

The country off late seems to be bitterly divided on almost every issue and lack of any clear consensus seems to be holding us back, not allowing any changes in our old and rusted system of beliefs and practices. The country is ruled by a set of political parties who are not are not strong enough to take a stand on a sensitive issue and thenbe able to defend themselves. Everyone wants to play safe and flow along with the public majority so as to not risk their vote banks. We expect our politicians to take a firm decision on what they think is good for the country and then be able to convince the public of that decision. Instead what is happening here is that the ministers give in a small hint of what they intend to do and this itself triggers a series of attacks from the opposition and various other jobless religious and activist groups all over the country. Result: the issue is mired in controversy even before it gets tabled in parliament and the minister starts shitting in his pants as he is scared of loosing his kursi.

This sort of behavior can be seen in how the UPA II has been dealing with the rural development schemes, disinvestment, Class X boards issue, Section 377 and many others. The bare mention of some changes in either the manifesto or the 100 day action plan or some press note has led to such an uproar that we only see the issues being debated on talk shows day in day out and from the look of it, it doesn't look like they will make it to the floor of the house.

The NDA has lost the elections just because they grossly misunderstood the sensibility of the common man. It is time they understand that the people are bothered about what the govt is doing to provide them employement and not about how soon the foundation of the temple in Ayodhya will be laid. The politicians should realize that public sentiment should be moved by them and not by religious and extremist groups. I don't think I am asking for a utopian system by saying this. You see elsewhere, say in the US where both Bush ( funny but true) and now Obama managed to take the people along with them in every decision that they took/take. They consult the relevant experts on every issue and then stick to their decisions. Even in France, Sarkozy has talked about the ban of the burkha but before doing that he already had the head of the largest mosque in Paris in his pocket and thus avoided much hue and cry.

Owing to our multi party political system, the various important stake holders and their multitude of opinons consensus building is not that easy in India. Take for instance the reactions to the Delhi HC's judgement against Section 377. The only party openly supporting them were the communists, probably aiming to get some hold on their urban/liberal vote banks. UPA ministers, Veerappa Moily and PC, who were talking in support of it till the previous day suddenly changed their stances to one of being non committal. The BJP and others were were playing for so that they could formulate their response in accordance with the larger public view. Religious groups came out strongly against it, terming it as sacreligeous. Baba Ramdev has joined the bandwagon by calling homosexuality as a disease which he claims is curable. (I am all ears to listen to his ideas and yogic exercises for the same :P) Now with such a range of opinions held by the different leaders of the, how can we hope to come to a consensus.

The public wants to move ahead but the country is trapped in the web woven by these leaders, who by the way, are the only ones to gain from these controversies. In a nation where the majority is slowly breaking free from the bondage of meaningless customs and is open to free thinking, a nation which vehemently opposes the actions of Pramod Muthalik and those of policemen against couples in parks, which supports Pride marches in large numbers, rallies in support of Savita Bhabhi, deems unnecessary the conduct of Class X boards and rejoices as one ( well almost ) the judgement against Section 377, should the path of reforms be such a bed of thorns.

We deserve better but what else can we expect from our politicians, the same people who managed to delay the report of an open and shut case like the Babri Masjid for 17 years, hoping the nation would forget their evil acts. What we need today is a set of ambitious and sincere leaders who are committed to the cause of the nation. We need a govt which can take firm steps towards development and not get bogged down by the comments of a few misinformed critics. I feel Pranab Mukherjee and Kapil Sibal have set a good examples of the same with the new budget and the 100 plan of the HRD ministry and hope the other misfits take a cue from this and get their act straight.

The Playboy triggered cataclysm. Can Savita Bhabhi do it for us?

Almost every teenager in India(including myself) is pissed of with the govt for not legalizing porn, drugs and paid sex. We look upto U S of A as a matured nation that is more sensible and has legalized atleast two of these in a controlled manner. But not many would know that the Americans weren't always this kool with their Spearmint Rhinos and Naughty Americans. I saw this program on Fox History yesterday with these revelations of the US till the 60's

1) Any explicit or implicit description of the act of lau was illegal. Imagine that and then literotica now. Books of European authors were edited and the concerned passages deleted before being sold in USA. Several books and authors were banned for the same.

2) Premarital and extramarital sex was a big societal taboo.

3) Live in relationships were illegal. Students who lived outside the univs with the opposite sex were expelled.

4) Any reference to sex in stand up comedy was illegal and a few comedians were arrested for the same.

5) Sex was meant for reproduction alone and indulging in it for pleasure was considered immoral

6) Use of birth control was illegal and sacrilegious.

7) There could be no intimate scenes in movies. Skin show was censored.

8) We all know about the homosexual story.

9) A woman was supposed to have an orgasm only through intercourse. Anything else :P was sacrilegious

There were many more similar beliefs, laws, restrictions.... So the society was not that free after all. There were lot of protests against many of the above but it took long continuous struggles before the conservative church gave in. The publishing of PLAYBOY was a revolution. For the first time it brought nudity to the bedrooms, drawing rooms and coffee tables of people. It met stiff protests but I guess majority of the sex deprived junta grabbed it and shagged all over it so it could not be stopped. It triggered the whole movement of the 70's where literotica and the double and triple X's were born. People were open to promiscuity and led to spread of AIDS :P
Jim Morrison had his part to play when he grabbed his crotch on stage in his usual inebriated state. Since then they have come a long way ( what with the 6 and 7 X's)

India as it stands now is much better and thus we need not lose hope. What with BJP losing again, RSS, VHP, Shiv Sena and co rubbed into insignificance, the Savita Bhabhis and Desi Papas strip clubs might soon see the light of the day in Mumbai or Goa.

Lets keep our fingers crossed and hope Rahul Gandhi wakes up one day realizing he has something imp between his legs and legalizes everything.

guilty........

Being an IITian has been a big achievement.This place has taught me a lot in the time i've spent here.But there's one more thing it has done, it has separated me fom my parents. Of course the physical separation is there but I feel it has now penetrated emotionally as well.

My parents dont call to find out how i'm doing academcally or what i'm upto. Not that they used to, they never did right from my childhood.Perhaps thats one reason I am here today and I am what I am, since i've always controlled and decided the course of my life. I have never been questioned or stopped from doing anything. My mom's just signed the report cards apart from taking care of my nutrition and dad has taken care of the financial needs.

But all along they would know when I was happy, when I was tense or worried or when I needed to be talked to or cajoled or pampered.But no more........
I am largely responsible for it as I never share anything with them. Even at home they would come to know as I would be right in front of their eyes but not anymore and hence they have no idea of the funtimes or tough ones.
They do not ask about my performance in the exams as I have made them believe we're given marks just at the end of every semester and not during it.

I've never in the last 2 yrs let them know if I was ill or hurt or sad,never.......and at times even the joyous occasions go unreported.
Sometimes this makes me brave and independent.
Sometimes I'm ashamed of myself.
Its hardly been a dozen times I've called home to talk to them myself.
I mostly call when I am in need of cash.


Nowadays they dont even know when I'm having my exams. This time my dad called the day before the end sems began to ask me how had my endsems gone and when was I coming home.
Then I told him they were staring the next day and would go on for five days.
I expected them to say a few words of caution and wisdom and give me their blessings or wish me good luck. But none of that happened,infact I had no calls for the next four days.

This I found really surprising considering they know how stressful the exams here are. I get a call each time there is a suicide due to academic reasons but none during the exams.

I feel an emotional divide has come up between me and them. I've never shared my fears and problems with them but now at time I dont share my joy as well.
Even during my pre JEE days they never had a hint of what I was going through or how heart-broken and depressed I would be if something went wrong.I had to wake my father up on the exam day to seek his blessings, something that makes me laugh even today.

But now things are different and I really feel detached from them.
I dont think being an IITian is going to be worth it if it takes me away from my parents.In the days and years to follow I am hardly going to spend time with them and I fear things getting worse.

I am totally responsible for this mess and am not putting up with the job of being a good son.They love me more than anything else in the world. I do the same but I dont express it in my behaviour or actions.I should behave much more responsibly. Living in my small family of friends here I have almost forgot the one back home.
I'll try my best to improve things in the week I spend home this month.

the transition

Another attempt to resume blogging, hope it isnt a valiant one this time

Its been almost a week since the exams have ended.Though this time the period following their end it wasnt all fun and frolic. The exams itself were a real pain, something they always are butthis time I admit it was the most gruelling fortnight I've been through. Not that I pushed myself by studying for 12 hrs a day, thats not in my capcacity. But psychologically it was really challenging as I had gone into the exams with very poor preparation.

Anyways as soon as I got over with them another hurdle was in front of me, waiting to test my ability and judgement. I was yet again confronted with the question of wether I wanted to change my stream or not.

I was inclined to make the change since the last couse I had done in EE had tested my resilience like none before. For the very first time an exam had brought me to tears and I admit I cried a couple of times in the couple of days leading to it as I really feared my grade in the course. This was partly beacuse of my lack of preparation and rest was due to the relative grading.The 'maggus', people whose sole purpose of existence here is getting the best grades had skewed the distribution in the midsems and were bound to repeat it yet again.
I have nothing against them, maybe thats what they enjoy doing.I do not want to shy away from the competiton but I am finding it difficult as our academic system is catering to the needs and style of the maggus like never before.The exams are a real mockery or triviality I should say.Questions are handpicked from the assignments and the prescribed textbooks.This is not expected of the best technological institute in the country. I believe they should devise better methods to put to test the best brains in the nation.

In almost all the courses I have done here I have observed success was proportional to the number of hours you put in rather than your understanding, now this puts me on a serious disadvantage.

After a few hours of discussions I came to the conclusion that I should opt for it as the system in place in the EE dept caters to the maggus much more than the one in the CSE dept and the courses in CSE are more enjoyable and interesting.
As I had no special liking or interest in EE I went ahead and just hope god helps me get across this time around.

But I sinscerely regret leaving my friends, almost all of whom are in EE. Guys I'm sorry and I will always miss sharing the classroom with you, together testing the patience of the instructor, the JOEY dance, the ai-hai's and everything else...........